The following story is part of Walter Block's Autobiography Archive.

On Becoming a Libertarian

I have a slightly different take on the "How I Became a Libertarian" articles that have been surfacing on the lewrockwell.com website in recent months. I’m not sure yet if I call myself a true Libertarian. However, I am in the process of making that transition and it has been a time of incredible change in my own beliefs. Or perhaps it is not change, but an understanding and self-acknowledgement of my beliefs.

In reading the various articles on the subject that have been printed on the website, a clear pattern has emerged. It seems everyone has taken a somewhat long but almost predictable path toward libertarianism. They may have grown up with certain beliefs, but because of their own dissatisfaction with the status quo they searched for something and found libertarianism. While my story is similar in some regards, it is one that has a different twist. I hadn’t consciously realized my dissatisfaction, and may not have given it a lot of thought if I hadn’t been introduced to lewrockwell.com and realized what I was missing. I am changing when I didn’t realize I needed to change, and that is exciting and disturbing at the same time.

A friend introduced me, late last year, to lewrockwell.com. Prior to that time, I had proudly called myself a Liberal – and yet once I began to argue the various philosophies with my friend, it became clear I had very little idea as to why I so identified myself. And very little idea of what I did truly believe, and how difficult it was to defend that which I thought I understood.

I was raised in a large Catholic family, with the requisite respect for authority and unquestioning belief that people are in charge because they know what they’re doing. While it only took me until my mid-20s to begin to question that premise, it never occurred to me to truly think the opposite could be true. Okay, I admit with some shame what a late bloomer I am. My distrust of organized religion was set in stone years ago, but my distrust of the government and all things political took longer. It was there, almost unbeknownst to me, but I steadfastly stuck to my liberal beliefs. In hindsight I can say a state of apathy set in, and I focused on other areas while ignoring that which made me uncomfortable.

But I couldn’t go on like that forever, for it is not in my nature to avoid difficult topics. The introduction of the ideas presented on lewrockwell.com nagged at my soul until I knew I needed to continue learning more on the subject. Therefore, I have undertaken the task of self-education. I have read voraciously on the subject, thanks to some wonderful recommendations from a number of frequent contributors to the website.

"How many a man has dated a new era in his life from the reading of a book! The book exists for us, perchance, that will explain our miracles and reveal new ones." Thoreau said this, and never has it been as clear to me as it was after reading Ayn Rand. This is not to say I didn’t find faults with the books, nor do I truly subscribe to the Objectivism philosophy. But I took from The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged the idea that man is, or should be, responsible for his own life, his own happiness, and the pursuit of all things moral and just. That government cannot be allowed to have the power it has presently bestowed upon itself, and that the free market is the backbone of a free society. These ideas are not departures from my inherent way of thinking, but instead truly articulated that thinking in ways I never imagined. It made me realize how disparate my innate beliefs were with the political beliefs I had been espousing.

From there, I’ve read numerous books on economics, politics, American history, and particularly on what it means to be a Libertarian. I’ve disagreed with some of the points, agreed wholeheartedly with many more, and am unsure about some others. I have learned a great deal and am absolutely amazed and dismayed at my previous level of ignorance on many topics. It’s been eye-opening, to say the least.

There are many things I have always supported without knowing I was an unwitting Libertarian. For example, the legalization of most drugs seems to me to be an obvious improvement over the current situation. However, I do fear that legalizing the most heinous drugs, such as heroin, could make society infinitely worse off than it is now. Does this mean it shouldn’t be done? I don’t have an answer, except to say that I acknowledge making exceptions is what will keep us on the slippery slope of government intervention where it doesn’t belong.

The books I’ve read have clarified a number of beliefs but have also muddied some others. The books have convinced me of some things I would have disagreed with earlier and have led me to start thinking of things I’ve never even considered. I love the mental challenge and the way I’ve been forced to think about some topics I’ve avoided. For reasons too complex to mention, my brain has been underutilized in recent years and it’s been great fun to dust it off and put it to work.

The topic that still gives me the most trouble is gun control. I have always feared guns, and was an avid gun control advocate. But as part of this learning process I’ve admitted to myself that I need to fully support the entire Constitution, including the second amendment, and not just those parts of it that may coincide with my personal preferences. I have trouble moving away from the idea that I want someone to protect me from guns, but I also have now understood that it’s not guns I fear, but what the wrong people can do with guns. And that if I want protection, I need to be prepared to protect myself. Fear is rooted in ignorance, and while I’m ignorant about guns I would like to change that and plan to do so (although I still have to say I picture myself as more of a Barney Fife than a Dirty Harry – keeping an unloaded gun and a single bullet in my pocket should I ever actually need one).

There are other topics that concern me. I clearly and passionately embrace the idea that we need to minimize the power of the federal government, yet I fear there are many responsibilities undertaken by the Feds that would most likely not be picked up by others. One example is the care of the disadvantaged. My morals dictate that somebody has to help the poor, the mentally ill, and the elderly. Can the poor be helped in such a way that the help is not a reward for indolence and indifference? Can we take care of those who need it, without encouraging the behaviors that may cause the problems? There must be better methods, but what are they and what will it take?

But there are so many aspects of the Libertarian philosophy I have embraced easily, and find the underlying concept of supporting the letter and the spirit of the Constitution to be completely liberating. As it should be. Instead of wondering how the government can help me, I think in terms of helping myself. Instead of trying to figure out which version of whichever new law should be approved, I want no new law. I want no one to regulate my behavior except me. Wear a seat belt? My business, not yours. Drive an SUV? If I choose, thank you.

And because I so willingly embrace this concept of less (government) is more, my biggest problem with what I’ve read thus far is a tendency to focus on what’s wrong, what happened, who did what to whom, etc., instead of on what I would prefer to see – that is – what are we going to do about it? I hate finger-pointing in general. I don’t do it in my personal life, and I think there is nothing to be gained in the political arena. Yet a large number of the articles I read seem merely to be doing just that. I’d prefer to see a different focus – that is, there’s a problem, so how can it be fixed? It seems to me the Libertarian websites all seem to be preaching to the choir. Granted, the choir does appear to be growing larger. But is the growth fast enough? Is it sustainable? What is being done to attract more people like me?

There is a perception out there that Libertarians are all zealots, anarchists who joined the movement simply to help legalize guns or drugs. I can tell you from my own experience that few people understand the underlying ideals of the Libertarian movement, and yet I don’t see a lot of effort out there to convince people like me of what is right.

There have been articles on LRC that have concerned me, and perhaps it is the tone and message evident in those articles that has been the biggest barrier to my fully embracing life as a Libertarian. For example, there have been several that have seriously demeaned the feminist movement. I get the impression that feminism is a very bad word. But most feminists are not the stereotype – we just believe in equal rights for women. I don’t understand why it is even an issue (one of my favorite excerpts from Atlas Shrugged is a great description of men who love strong women). Of course, I also have always lived by the philosophy of "live and let live," that is, there is no need to have any laws trying to protect women who don’t need or want to be protected, and there should never be any laws that tell private property owners what to do with their property. If the owners of Augusta don’t want to admit women, so be it. And women have the right to try and convince them otherwise. I don’t care which side wins. Just enjoy the battle.

Recently there was an article on LRC criticizing MBAs. In truth, I didn’t disagree with the article as I’ve actually met few fellow MBAs I personally like, but I still hate to see any kind of rationalization for dismissing someone based on a degree they may have earned. I really hate stereotyping people, and think it reflects badly on those who do it. Okay, I know some things are meant to be taken in jest. But I wonder – as a feminist MBA, am I wanted here?

Religion is another topic on which I have some pretty strong opinions. Dictionary.com defines religion as "the belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe." I personally believe religion has no place in discussions on politics or the state. I believe strongly in the separation of church and state. But that is my opinion. I wouldn’t want to stop anyone from talking or writing about whatever "supernatural power" they happen to believe or not believe in, but I do find it annoying that many people refuse to allow that others may have opinions contrary to their own. I see that quite often in many articles, and it is disheartening.

Very early on in my learning process I was told, by someone whose name is well-recognized on LRC, that anyone who does not choose to embrace the Libertarian philosophy is either ignorant, stupid, or vicious. Rather than thinking of this comment as very narrow, I was impressed with the passionate stance taken by the true devotees. And since I am definitely not stupid and can’t imagine ever being vicious, I easily chose ignorant as the least of the three evils.

In some ways, ignorance truly was bliss. I found it much less disturbing to go through life as a Liberal, choosing to believe what I thought was right, than to see those beliefs so easily tossed aside. But once I started down this path, I found it impossible to turn around. I may not yet believe everything I read about Libertarianism, but I can, without doubt, say it comes much closer to my true beliefs than anything else. I realize that Libertarianism, like everything else, consists of shades of grey rather than simply black and white, and most likely no two Libertarians agree fully on everything. I took a "Libertarian purity quiz" on the Internet, and scored 100/160 (putting me into the realm of the hardcore Libertarian, or so it said). And yet, why can’t I take the final plunge?

I know fear of change is normal. Becoming a Libertarian is a change almost beyond my own comprehension, and has therefore been very difficult. While I have submitted my resignation to the Democratic Party, I have not yet joined the Libertarian Party. I have quit Handgun Control, but wonder if I could ever bring myself to join the NRA. I want to take the leap to Libertarianism, but am having trouble. I want to avoid falling into the abyss of apathy, of avoidance, of the type of middle-of-the-road, stand-for-nothing attitude that I abhor, yet am having trouble embracing that which I believe in my heart to be right. I just need to take that final jump, but I don’t want to be pushed. I want to know I made the commitment because it truly reflects what I believe.

Yet, after all this angst, I realize calling myself a Libertarian may simply be a matter of semantics. One could argue that as a proponent of free will, and one who without doubt believes in minimizing the role of the state, by definition I am a Libertarian. Even I have trouble arguing against that point – and I can argue about anything.

In this article I have expressed my opinions on the things that have attracted me to Libertarianism, as well as on those things not as appealing. I haven’t done this to confess exactly how shamefully unable I am to make the firm commitment, but to make it clear that the things that may seem obvious to the diehard Libertarians may in fact be things holding back progress. That there are probably many others out there who like the idea of Libertarianism, but are put off by some of the things I’ve mentioned, or other things I haven’t mentioned. If the movement is to succeed – and I certainly hope success is a goal – it needs to understand the types of issues that concern potential members. Obviously, the solution is not to compromise the values, but understanding the concerns makes it easier to address them.

At the moment, this story does not have an ending. In time it will, and I expect that I may soon be able to truly call myself a proud Libertarian. I really do like the sound of that.

Postscript (March 28, 2003):

Within a few days of completing the above article, I ended the uncertainty and did indeed join the ranks of the Libertarians. I’m not sure what finally allowed me to fully commit – perhaps it was this current shameful war with Iraq, or perhaps it was just seeing these words in print that made me realize I was ready. I do now proudly tell people I’m a Libertarian, and am very active in spreading the word to anyone willing to listen. And even some who aren’t.

June 13, 2003

Allison Brown [send her mail] is a financial officer in Maryland.

Allison Brown Archives

Back to LewRockwell.com Home Page