The Cluttered Banner

by Joseph R. Stromberg

Furl that cluttered banner
The one with all the junk
Designed by a committee
With fervor, fad, and funk

It's got a bit of everything
From soup to nuts and more
Some folks think the Georgia flag
Is now a tiresome bore

And yet it's not correct enough
We're really at a loss
To see a tiny Stars and Bars
And shrunken Southern Cross

But making plain who is in charge
With mighty, sovereign powers
Two starry, Yankee stripy flags
On either side of ours

Transparency, they say, is good
The flag should know its mother
To fairly show its origins
They should design another

So furl that cluttered banner
Get out your artist's easel
And draw upon a field of pink
The portrait of a weasel

TEN POSSIBLE USES FOR NEW FLAG

1. Use as tinder for barbecue grill, if Atlanta paper is unavailable for
   starting charcoal
2. Tear into strips for tourniquets when you cut yourself on the sharp wit
   and keen insights found in Atlanta's major newspaper
3. Use when washing truck
4. Stuff in gas tank, if cap is missing
5. Use as big target for would-be marksmen (only while guns are still legal)
6. Use as beach blanket for visits to Daytona Beach
7. Use to filter homebrew and other fluids
8. Use to hide face of Governor, if he tries to show it outside Atlanta
9. Use as curtains for cluttered apartment (decorators agree this will
   underscore deliberate clutter theme)
10. Sew together to make hot air balloons (thereby helping to reduce current
    hot air surplus in New-New South circles)

February 6, 2001

Joseph R. Stromberg is a frequent contribution to LewRockwell.com, a weekly columnist for Antiwar.com, and is the JoAnn B. Rothbard Historian in Residence at the Ludwig von Mises Institute.

Copyright © 2001 LewRockwell.com