Another Racist Outrage in Georgia

Lilburn GA – Fresh on the heels of their victorious effort to change the Georgia state flag, State Representative Tyrone Brooks, Martin Luther King III, and a gathering of other civil rights activists assembled today outside the Yellow River Game Ranch to protest the annual Groundhog Day winter weather prediction of beloved groundhog General Lee.

"What we have here is a classic case if institutionalized racism, a throwback to the days of Jim Crow laws, and an impediment to the success of African-Americans across this great state. We must speak out now to end this atrocity." stated Rep. Brooks. "We used to refer to the Georgia state flag as "the Georgia Swastika" because of its incorporation of the Confederate battle emblem. How could we sit still and allow our winter weather forecast to be conducted by such an obvious tribute to an icon of the Old South, General Lee?"

When informed that the groundhog was named "General Beauregard Lee, PhD.", and not "General Robert E. Lee", Brooks proclaimed that combining the name of the side wheel river steamer CSS Beauregard, which fought at the battle of Ft. Pillow, TN, with the name of General Robert E. Lee was merely a ploy on the part of white supremacists to confuse minorities who, he was sure, were being slighted and held back by this issue.

"It is clear to me that until we have a groundhog that represents all of Georgia, we will have no peace", replied Rep. Brooks, "I will take this matter to the legislature as soon as possible."

Brooks also stated that he would again raise the issue of an NAACP tourism boycott of the state, as well as the issue of a boycott of any NCAA tournament play if his demands we not met.

Approached on this issue, Governor Roy Barnes office stated that they were unaware of the problem, but that they would acquiesce immediately if it meant losing the NCAA basketball tournament.

"We’ll have that groundhog celebrating Kwanzaa in a New York minute if it means keeping those tourist dollars coming", stated a spokesperson for the Governor’s office.

Yellow River Game Ranch authorities have not responded to requests for comment, except to say that "If Beau sees his pudgy image, Americans may prepare for at least six more weeks of "winter blah."

February 3, 2001

Jef Allen is a technology professional in Georgia. As a reformed Yankee, who has lived in the South for roughly twenty years, he has very little tolerance for Northern sanctimony, or the erosion of individual liberty.

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