Your Taxes at Work on Supremely Important Goals

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The Transportation Security Administration will begin using the Coast Guard’s enterprisewide emergency mass notification system. … [which] is designed to provide emergency alerts over multiple channels such as landlines, mobile and satellite phones, e-mail, text messages and facsimile to units across the agency …”

Thank Heaven, the TSA’s thieves and thugs will now know when dangerous cupcakes are heading their way.

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