Yeah, Right

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Speaking of the $1.43 million in loose change that passengers have left at checkpoints over the last three fiscal years, the TSA’s spokesliar David Castelveter played us for fools. “To the extent we can return loose change, including bills, we do,” he claimed. “There have been circumstances where our officers noticed that someone had left money behind, sought out that individual and returned it.”

Heartwarming, isn’t it? Just think: thieves who steal iPads, gallons of mouthwash and shampoo, jewelry, medicines, and basically anything that isn’t nailed down take time from groping Ms. Beauty Queen to run after Mr. Forgetful, hollering, “Sir! Sir! Pardon me, you forgot a dime and nickel back there. Here you go, sir, and happy travels!”

Allow me to issue a challenge: anyone who has ever witnessed a nigh miraculous event — the TSA returning funds instead of gobbling them — write me. I’ll post your story here. (I suspect it will be a very short blog.)

I’m also open to those snarky comments on the TSA’s unprecedented honesty I see working their way down your fingers to your keyboards. Update: And here’s one of ‘em. A friend writes, “Perhaps we ought to start a trend of leaving a few pennies in the bins  at the airport, with a note (either paper or verbally) ‘That’s your tip  for feeling me up.'”

6:22 pm on April 13, 2013