We Demand Clean Decadence

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The FCC is mighty upset that Janet Jackson’s breast was somewhat exposed when her breastplate was torn off by Justin Timberlake during the halftime show of the Super Bowl. Truly, all of America should be protected against this kind of filth. Americans have every right to clean and morally upstanding presentations of crass, degenerate, barbaric, tacky, degraded forms of aggressive, sex-simulating dances accompanied by absurdly loud anti-music, while they waste their Sunday afternoon watching large males crash into each other as they fight over a piece of puffed pork.

3:50 pm on February 2, 2004