Warning: You May Vomit

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The TSA “honor[ed] its outstanding employees Tuesday” in Hawaii at its “Eighth Annual TSA Awards” (emphasis added. Who knew? Eight years of congratulating Thieves and Sexual Assailants, and on our dime).

Your taxes paid for these criminals and psychopaths to yuk it up at the Kaua‘i Marriott Resort and Beach Club. And while you might assume that “outstanding employees” are exceedingly few and far between at the agency (indeed, the same Google Alert that brought me this story starts with another about the TSA’s most recently discovered robber), the list of “honorees” stretches for 11 paragraphs. 

Of course, Our Rulers no doubt define “outstanding employee” differently than we do. If you’ve managed to conduct your unauthorized plunder quietly enough to escape unflattering headlines while gate-raping victims so vigorously they’re too traumatized to complain, well, you’re no doubt in the running for “Employee of the Year.”

8:49 am on December 7, 2012