Once again, the state is called upon to forcibly deprive some persons of advantages they enjoy that others do not. Legislatures in at least three states — New York, California, and Oregon — are considering bills that would criminalize “distracted walking” (i.e., people who walk while talking on a cell phone, listening to a tape recorder, etc.) It is suspected that those members of the boobeoisie who cannot walk and chew gum at the same time want the state to penalize those who have mastered this task!

The Best of Butler Shaffer