Unexpected Boost for Ron Paul Campaign!

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A group called the The Republican Jewish Coalition has confirmed Ron Paul’s sage views on foreign policy by barring him from their upcoming hot tub party for people who agree with them.

“We want more war, and more money, and Ron Paul doesn’t,” said RJC Executive Director Matt Brooks. “And the Seven GOP Dwarfs we have invited agree with us. Moreover, our members demand obeisance as well as obedience, and those qualities are not high on Mr. Paul’s resume.”

Brooks was nonetheless eager to underscore the group’s Republican virtues: “As Republicans, we believe that more war — especially a big one — will help the economy,” he explained, “and more war right now could be just the  critical catalyst we need to pull our country out of Obama’s Depression.”

Asked to comment further on the group’s Paul Prohibition, Brooks observed, “Clearly, our group’s ideas would not stand up to serious scrutiny at a meeting like this. We discussed letting him [Dr. Paul] come without allowing him to say anything, but some of our key supporters were afraid that his very presence would be a nagging symbol of reality, and frankly we just can’t let reality intrude into these kinds of discussions, it’s just too dangerous. Look,” he added, somewhat aggravated, “letting Ron Paul in the room would be like having a Predator of Truth hovering over a Landscape of Lies. You think we’re gonna let that happen? After all, it’s our meeting.”

Asked if he would apologize to Dr. Paul for the snub, Brooks curtly replied, “Apologize? What for?” He would also not apologize for holding the forum in a building named after President Reagan, even though President Reagan would probably have been barred from appearing at it.

Well, my account might have been somewhat hurried, so here’s how Brooks put it.

10:27 am on December 3, 2011