Today’s Great Big Belly Laugh

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TSA is committed to continually improving the manner by which it carries out its vital security mission [sic for ‘by which it gate-rapes and plunders passengers’] while remaining aware of the importance of a positive traveler experience,” the TSA’s spokesliar Lisa Farbstein said in response to a less-than-flattering internal report that some of the agency’s thugs compiled on others of the agency’s thugs at Newark’s airport.

Another spokesliar, this one from the union now representing the Thieves and Sexual Assailants (“We demand shorter breaks so we can get back to stealing and molesting! We demand at least 5 lithe young lasses for every fat old geezer in the victims’ line!”) “said she was disappointed that someone had leaked the [report slamming the thugs] to the press, and she feared the image of Newark screeners would again be unfairly tarnished.”

Yeah, you know those poor Thieves and Sexual Assailants: We’d all love them for groping us and swiping our stuff if it weren’t for the dastardly press, which, until a few years ago, constantly urged more power and money for the TSA and even now can’t bring itself to use the A-word in regard to it.

Abolish the TSA.

8:41 am on December 11, 2012