Pretend you’re a politician (yeah, I know: hard to do unless you own a sociopath’s imagination) in Nazi Germany. Do you focus on the millions of people your cronies are murdering? Or do you instead obsess about where they’re buying the barbed wire and Zyklon B for the extermination camps? Do you worry over the unutterable evil you’ve unleashed or whether the kommandants are patronizing good German firms?

Now pretend you’re a politician in the Amerikan Empire. Do you focus on the millions of people your cronies are molesting, or where the TSA buys bracelets memorializing — what else? — 9/11?

“U.S. Rep. Chris Murphy, founder and co-chairman of the congressional Buy American Caucus,” is also a Demopublican from Connecticut craving a promotion to the Senate. Based on his appalling economic ignorance, immunity to the glaringly obvious, and self-righteous hypocrisy, I predict he’ll achieve his ambition, too. Here’s his excoriation of John Pistole, Head Pervert at the TSA, over the $17,500 that dimwit squandered to outfit his thugs with bracelets: “By awarding this contract to a company who imported the items from China — a country with questionable labor practices, a dismal record of human rights violations and a manipulated currency — your agency denied American workers the opportunity to manufacture these commemorative bracelets with pride here in the United States.”

Hmmm. Any other gang of criminals — sorry, government — we all know and loathe with “questionable labor practices, a dismal record of human rights violations, and a manipulated currency”?

Catch the “with pride.” If you failed to imagine being a politician, try an easier exercise: Picture yourself a serf heading off to the factory to stamp out plastic bracelets for goons, thieves, and deviants to wear. Yes! You are proud, you are strong, you wonder exactly how many genitals your product will brush as its owner thrusts his paws down victims’ britches.

Astoundingly, fixating on whether the TSA buys American is common among Our Rulers. So much concern for labor unions, none whatsoever for the Constitution and the gate-raped.

Yo, Murphy: Since the Feds’ wholesale sexual assault doesn’t bother you, it’s too much to expect the wasted $17,500 would, either. So go for it, buddy! You’re prime senatorial fodder.

The Best of Becky Akers