A suggestion for President Paul’s First Inaugural:
“Every time it snows in Washington, the federal government declares a “snow emergency,” directing all “non-essential personnel” to stay at home.
Today I hereby declare a permanent “snow emergency.” All non-essential federal personnel shall immediately return home, and stay there, permanently.
Tomorrow I will declare all the employees in five cabinet departments to be “non-essential.” I will do so very early in the morning — so don’t bother coming to work.
After that, I will begin to investigate which remaining agencies and “essential” personnel are indeed essential, in the light of our principles, the Constitution, and current circumstances. Everything that is not essential will be closed down. Everyone who is found to be non-essential will be sent home — permanently.
My actions will allow there to be thousands of new homecoming celebrations every day for months to come. Rejoice, former federal workers, and believe me, the country will rejoice with you!
12:44 pm on January 10, 2012
