This time with a “plastic bottle wrapped in duct tape.” I’m not sure why duct tape holds a special place in the Warriors’ pantheon of fear, right up there with wires, cheese, and cell-phone chargers, but it does.

At any rate, an idiot tattled to “authorities” that someone had tossed said bottle in the trash (thank God the innocent someone made his escape, or he’d likely be suffering “alternative interrogation techniques” right now), where it no doubt threatened the Murikan way of life. What Warrior could resist such temptation? Heck, this is what they live for! And so they unleashed all the bells and whistles to impress the serfs: We have an “evacuation of the lobby at the Eastern Iowa Airport in Cedar Rapids [Iowa]” and “a robot from the Cedar Rapids police department removing the item” and “passengers who had already gone through security [being] held in place, while passengers getting off planes were bused to an area outside the terminal” and about “six flights affected.”

For a plastic bottle and some tape.

Who says totalitarianism isn’t entertaining?

The Best of Becky Akers