Recall that as the screams of gate-raped victims have echoed throughout the country these last years, Our craven Rulers have helplessly wrung their hands at our pain. They’ve held hearing after hearing to determine what’s wrong with the TSA (yeah, hard to figure that out, what with all those headlines about strip-searched grannies and survivors of cancer pickled in their own urine); they’ve prattled about reform; they’ve introduced bills to secure passengers’ rights (as if the Constitution never prohibits the Feds from preying on such citizens in the first place).

And yet the TSA’s deviants merrily continue groping us.

Now, a mere three or four months after the agency’s chief thug, John “The Pervert” Pistole, proposed permitting the serfs to carry pocketknives aboard planes, those same legislators vigorously and efficaciously oppose his whim. One hundred and forty-five of these worthless leeches galvanized themselves to sign a petition, ordering The Perv to continue stealing our knives at the checkpoints; not a single one of them ever cared enough to sign, much less initiate, such a document against sexually assaulting the serfs. (Hmmm. Consider the Constitutional crisis when Congress must beseech a bureaucracy to redress its grievance.) No less than four of these elected criminals have introduced a bill to outlaw The Perv’s measure.

What made the difference? Read the unions’ glowing defense of one obedient Congressional dimwit. For reasons I haven’t fathomed, the unions cursing aviation adamantly oppose allowing knives on planes. And when bought-and-paid-for lackeys like Markey face a challenge for office, the unions reward them.

So long as the serfs have only the Constitution rather than a union with millions of dollars at its disposal protecting them, the TSA will blithely paw us.

The Best of Becky Akers