The TSA Chases Its Own Tail

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The TSA fields 30 “dogs of all breeds” at LAX “in post-security-screening areas to help reduce the anxiety of traveling.” No bureaucratic boondoggle, so to speak, is complete without a tortured, cloying acronym: this one’s dubbed “PUPS,” or “Pets Unstressing Passengers.” My software has dutifully underlined “Unstressing” since no such word exists. Not sure whether bureaucrats damage the language more with their execrable jargon (fortunately, the word “pup” is so short even the most determined  bloodsucker can’t twist too many nouns into adjectives and cram them in) or with their  coinages, which are always as unnecessary and awkward as “unstressing.”

But that aside, I have a far better idea. How about if we simply abolish the TSA? That will “unstress” travel instantly.

2:40 pm on April 22, 2014