The Drunken Fed

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It seems that Ben “Throw Money from the Helicopter” Bernanke has been unleashed. Unleashed! The latest madness from the Greek Temple known as the Federal Reserve office in Washington (no insult intended to the Greeks) involves the Fed buying commercial paper from mutual funds.

WASHINGTON – The Federal Reserve announced Tuesday that it will provide up to $540 billion in financing to bolster the money market mutual fund industry, its latest effort to get credit flowing more freely again.

The Fed’s new program, called the Money Market Investor Funding Facility, will be used to support a private-sector initiative designed to provide liquidity, or cash, to money market investors. The Fed plans to back purchases of short-term debt including certificates of deposit and commercial paper that expire in three months or less from money market mutual funds.

The funds are large buyers of commercial paper and CDs, which historically are considered safe investments. However, the credit crisis, which took a turn for the worse last month, has put money market mutual funds under pressure as skittish investors demand withdrawals.

Well, gentlemen and gentleladies from the Fed, I have a modest proposal: I will begin to issue Bill Anderson Commercial Paper in hopes that the Fed will purchase it. If I default, heck, just print money and use that!

11:11 am on October 21, 2008
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