Tax-Paid Death From a Long Distance

Writes Tom Lacey:

“American Guns” is a reality television show that follows a family-run gun store in Colorado. The father is a former police officer, and the face of his gun store, Gunsmoke. His wife runs the back office, his son and daughter work there too.

One particular episode a sheriff comes in and tells dad he needs a custom sniper’s rifle for his S.W.A.T. team. Something that can shoot a quarter at 200 yards, or bust an engine block at 1,000. Dad is excited, and agrees to build the rifle for less than his cost, $5,000. The sheriff explains that if this sniper’s rifle is made well, dad will get orders for many more. Dad explains to the viewer that the sheriff is well know, well respected, and building the sniper rifle will be good business.

As the episode goes on we learn how the rifle is built. The employees are excited, and take great care to be sure it is perfect. The day comes for delivery and the show takes us to a shooting range, with targets rigged with explosives. The sheriff shows up, out of his truck emerge two deputies dressed in military fatigues. The two-man fire team hops on the rifle and make short work of the targets, the episode ends with smiling deputies and explosions.

The show mentions the sheriff is from Avon. Wondering why I never heard of Avon Colorado, being a city so big it needs a S.W.A.T. team, I looked it up on Wikipedia. I was surprised and confused when I did. Avon has a population of 5,561. S.W.A.T. team, do they even need a sheriff? Where I come from, a town of that size would pay the state police to get one resident state trooper. But perhaps Avon has a high crime rate, they are having problems, and need engine blocks blown away at half-mile distances. A visit to  city-data.com  shows Avon’s crime rate is 84.8, the national average is 306.9. As far as the data goes back, ten years, there has never been a murder. The most recent violent crime index 2010, was 29.8; the national average is 222.7. Hmmm.

Watching Mayberry R.F.D. for years, I can’t remember if the fictional town ever mentioned the population; but I would guess it was about 5,561. Perhaps the show should be remade, Barney Fife can carry a Predator Drone controller in his shirt pocket instead of a bullet.

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1:01 pm on July 27, 2012