Small Knives = Big Threat

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Last week, the Thieves and Sexual Assailants announced a new “right” they’ve deigned to grant passengers: rather than stealing  “small” knives and athletic equipment like golf clubs at the checkpoints, they will allow us to cart them onboard aircraft as of April 25. 

Hey, even the slave-labor camps permitted inmates to carry a crust of bread back to the barracks.

But you might think the TSA had proposed allowing passengers to take over the cockpit and fly the planes, given the outrage from the airlines and the unions strangling aviation. They scream and shriek that the TSA must rescind its largesse. Yep, I’m wondering the same thing: where were these craven bozos when the TSA began gate-raping their customers? Where were they when it initiated irradiation of us?

But while the TSA’s depredations don’t bother them, a tiny bone thrown to our convenience does. Passengers are homicidal maniacs panting to slit the throats of “flight attendants” and thanking Allah for the TSA’s about-face on these “threat items.” Or so Delta Airlines implied last week in a letter to John “The Perv” Pistole, Large Bowel at the TSA; now US Airways jumps in, with its CEO damning the decision as “a change in policy that might place out [sic] flight attendants’ safety at risk…

Those still enduring aviation’s gulag should know that the corporations charging an arm and a leg to abuse you during transcontinental transit view you as so many murderers.

7:27 am on March 13, 2013