Should Curtains and Window Blinds Be Outlawed?

That’s the apparent thinking of Florida politicians.  The evening television news yesterday in South Florida featured a piece on cops pulling people over because their window tinting was too dark.  “We can’t tell if they’re wearing their seatbelts,” said one coppper, as he fidgeted with some kind of tint-o-meter that supposedly measured the degree of darkness in window tinting. 

As of July 1, Florida cops are permitted to impose about a $100 fine for each person in a vehicle who is not wearing a seat belt.  So tinted windows, which are pervasive in Florida, are seen as a major obstruction to tax collection.  Just in case the Booboisee might object, the news show put on the screen an A-K47 that was allegedly taken from a car with — you guessed it — tinted windows.

It just stands to reason, then, that the Florida legislature should outlaw curtains and all other forms of home window coverings.  Who knows what heinous crimes might be committed behind those curtains!  Why, there could be a poker game going on.  Or a 20-year-old Iraq war veteran could be having a beer with his dad.  A member of Congress from Massachusetts might be running a prostitution ring in his basement.  Or a judge might be smoking a joint after a long day in court.  If we are ever to achieve a vice-free society, curtains and window blinds must be outlawed, and thousands of Peeping Tom Police must be hired at once.

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7:19 am on July 10, 2009