Writes David Franke:

Nikki Finke is so bitchy and HILARIOUS! Reading her account of the Oscars makes up for those three hours you just wasted. She makes Maureen Dowd read like Mother Theresa.

I don’t keep up with the entertainment gossip and mags, so most of this is over my head. Just as most of Billy Crystal’s jokes were so insiderish they were over my head. Hollywood really doesn’t want normal Americans watching this show. We should honor their wishes.

Speaking of Billy Crystal, I kept wondering what in the world has happened to him. He doesn’t look like Billy Crystal.  He looks like a bank robber with a plastic mask over his face. Nikki Finke explained it for me. Apparently he is a “product placement” for Botox.

Nikki Finke must be a conservative, by the way, with her scathing comments about Hollywood and her political references.

My biggest disappointment was that Berenice Bejo did not get Best Supporting Actress for “The Artist.” She illuminated the screen from the moment she first appeared, and effortlessly demonstrated why the 20s were such fun. But she didn’t have a chance. I’m sure that the black actress from “The Help,” Octavia Spencer, was very good (didn’t see it), but Hollywood is nothing if not dependable. Berenice can’t salve the consciences of all those aging white Hollywood libs. She’s just too, too, too white.

Plus, Hollywood doesn’t “get” pure humor that doesn’t carry a social message. As it proved again last night.

The Best of Llewellyn H. Rockwell, Jr.