Karen: Is the explanation for categorizing pizza a vegetable due to the tomato sauce? Of course we all know — from the Reagan years — that ketchup is a vegetable! I wonder how far the state will go in regulating the details of the lives of its cattle citizenry before Mr. and Mrs. Boobus catch on. If the state were to decree that cannibalism provided the healthiest diet, and parents began to wonder why their children didn’t come home from school in the afternoon, I’ll bet that at least 10% of the boobeoisie might become suspicious.

The Best of Butler Shaffer