No Hobgoblins in New Jersey

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Just when you might have thought that the inanity of politicians could descend no further, the governor of New Jersey has issued an “executive order” banning Halloween!  He didn’t inform us whether the National Guard would be called out to enforce his order, or whether notice of the ban has been made public to all hobgoblins, ghosties, ghoulies, and three-leggedy beasties that might be preparing for their annual visitations. Like other make-believe terrorists used by the state, these dark-side spirits can be impressed into the service of keeping the citizenry ever-fearful and submissive to established authority.

A few questions do haunt me, however (if, indeed, it is not unlawful to be “haunted”): [1] why did the governor not join forces with the mayor of New York City in this measure? The two misanthropes could have banned the giving out of candy – as part of the state’s interest in controlling food – to the little trick-or-treaters; [2] How will this order be enforced, should young costumed urchins be seen with their trick-or-treat sacks wandering through the neighborhoods? Will police feel free to gun them down, what with “due process of law” no longer a fashionable concern in this country? [3] If the aftermath of the hurricane is so dangerous as to keep Halloweeners from venturing out into the streets, will police officers also be kept within their homes for their protection?  [4] Will the governor next act to restore the criminal ban on Christmas celebrations – as was the practice in Puritan New England for many decades?  Why not,  if observances not sanctioned by the state can be prohibited by fiat?  [5] And if this protoplasmic oaf holds such powers as can effectively reduce the impulses of children to celebrate Halloween, why did he not act sooner, by issuing an “executive order” banning Hurricane Sandy from entering New Jersey?

It might have proven more fruitful – as well as amusing – had the governor extended his order to prohibit people going out onto the streets in furtherance of a far more frightening and destructive spectacle: next Tuesday’s elections!  The sight of untold millions staggering into voting booths – dressed in their boobeoisie costumes – to endorse the horrors of those who act on behalf of state violence, is far more troublesome than that of happy, innocent children in their varied attires.

5:25 pm on October 31, 2012