I had to stop by today at one of “God‘s” fortresses in order to get “permission” from “God” for something. I carry a regular Swiss Army Knife on my key chain. A few days ago, when I knew I had to make my haj, I thought about whether or not to remove the knife before leaving. I wasn’t sure if the building I was going to was completely “owned” by “God.” I figured that the worst that could happen—if I had to go through insecurity—would be that I could leave my knife with “God’s” public “servants.”

As it turns out, I left my house forgetting as to whether or not I was going to leave my knife at home, so I wound up having it with me. When I got to the Reichstag, I was told by my “servants” that I couldn’t enter with the knife. Fair enough. When I asked if I could leave it up front, they said “No.” If I did leave it up front, it would not be there when I left. (I guess taxation isn’t the only way that “God” steals from his sheeple.) Fortunately, right outside were these (for want of a better term) large cement tree pots. It had rained today, so the dirt in them was soft. I stuffed my knife (sans keys, of course) into one of them, I returned to the Reichstag, and was allowed entry. Not only did I have to put all of my metal objects in a plastic bucket before going through the metal detector, I had to take off my belt!!!

Since I have not been on a commercial jet since 1998, all I can say is that if this is what I have to go through (removing my belt??!!) just to get into the Reichstag, I can imagine how exponentially worse it is at the nation’s airports. I will NEVER fly a commercial jet in the United States of Fascist Amerika ever again.

P.S. Yes, my knife was safe and sound (but a little muddy) when I retrieved it after escaping from the Reichstag 10 minutes later.

UPDATE: Spencer Hahn writes:

“Your blog post reminded me of my days as a public defender in Portland, Oregon. There was a guy who ran a hot dog stand outside the courthouse who came up with an ingenious way to make a little extra money: He would hold your knife for a $1 fee while you went into the courthouse to make offerings to the gods.”