Mars is Deadly Dull

Email Print

Everyone has his own private hobbies—golf, stamp collecting, old cars, Mars—but that doesn’t require that the rest of us should have to care about them in the slightest. So I don’t feel the least bit guilty for finding all this Mars news to be unbelievably boring and tedious.

I gather that Mars is a very large planet, a little larger than half the size of the entire Earth. And what did Spirit Rover find when it landed? Dirt. Dirt! Endless quantities of it. Let Spirit rove and rove for years, lifetimes, and it will be the same thing: dirt. This is the very definition of dull.mars.jpg

Its red tint isn’t interesting either: I’m surrounded by red dirt here in Alabama (guess which pic is Mars and which is Alabama). At least in the deserts of Saudi Arabia you can run across a bug or two. I’d rather be golfing. And wouldn’t you know it, Bush wants to make a mission to Mars a national priority. Let’s put everyone in government in the ship and make it a one-way ticket.

(The top image is Mars, the bottom Alabama)

9:27 am on January 9, 2004