Making the NFL Get its “Mind Right”

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In the movie “Cool Hand Luke” a prison guard kept telling an imprisoned Paul Newman that “we’re gonna make you get your mind right, boy.”  This of course is a perfect definition of the main objective of higher education in America and of the media and political  follies.  Only politically-correct words and actions, as defined by the cultural Marxists in higher education, the media, and politics are acceptable.  You are a Public Enemy if you disagree.

Professional football has long dragged its feet in getting with the program because, well, because it’s so heterosexual male oriented.  But the NFL is making progress.  For the past two weeks players have been wearing cute little pink booties and glovies to make the statement that “We Are Aware of Breast Cancer.”  What?  Huh?  Breast cancer?  Never heard of it.  Thank God the NFL alerted me to this newly-discovered plague.  Has anyone else out there ever heard of it?

Then there’s the frowning declaration of disapproval that King Obama made over the fact that the Washington Redskins are known as the Redskins.  Redskins owner Dan Snynder heroically gave the king a big middle finger (figuratively speaking), causing USA Today and other Official Pronouncers of Acceptable Opinion to throw a hysterical fit.  Mr. Snyder may eventually back down, but I hope not.  But if he does, here’s my recommendation for a new name for the team that I think will completely satisfy the cultural Marxists:  How about the Washington Gaylesianhispanicblacktransvestites?  That covers at least some of the Official Mascot Groups of the cultural Marxists.

UPDATE:  Emailers have suggested “DC Honky Scalpers” and “Washington Drones” instead of “Redskins.”  The latter suggestion came with a recommendation to put a tiny drone icon on the helmets.  The former correctly pointed out that “Washington” must also go since it is the name of a famous White Male Oppressor, the ultimate evil in the world of the politically correct.  Along those lines, I would also suggest changing the name to , perhaps, the Anacostia Gaylesbianhispanicblacktransvestites.

Yet another suggestion: “The Washington Foreskins to acknowledge all the dickheads in D.C.”

The Redskins’ stadium is actually in Landover, MD, not Washington.  Before it was built there were rumors that the site might be Savage, Maryland and that the team’s name was to be changed to “The Savage Redskins.”


7:38 am on October 15, 2013