NEWS FLASH!! As the United States of Socialist America continues its Bizarro World freefall towards Great Depression II, we now have word that the “Honourable” Benjamin Cardin, U.S. Senator (Democrat, of course) from the great state of Maryland, has introduced into that “august” body known as the U.S. Senate a bill entitled “Newspaper Revitalization Act.”

“We are losing our newspaper industry…the economy has caused an immediate problem, but the business model for newspapers, based on circulation and advertising revenue, is broken, and that is a real tragedy for communities across the nation and for our democracy. It is in the interest of our nation and good governance that we ensure they survive” said Senator Cardin.

The act would grant newspapers tax-free status as non-profits¹, a deal similar to that enjoyed by public broadcasting outlets, which survive on tax-deductible contributions from listeners. The newspapers, however, will also be able to enjoy tax free advertising revenue.”

Since all newspapers might soon become non-profits, perhaps we can convince the great Jerry Lewis to hold a telethon for The New York Times–and I know the perfect day to hold that telethon on: May Day.
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¹As far as I’m concerned, I don’t think any Establishment newspaper has ever been profitable–at least in the sense of any thinking person having found it “profitable” to read an Establishment newspaper.