Gitmo abuses never happened, says Dick Cheney. “Occasionally there are allegations of mistreatment,” acknowledges the veep. “But if you trace those back, in nearly every case, it turns out to come from somebody who had been inside and released to their home country and now are peddling lies about how they were treated.”

Bottom line: “For Amnesty International to suggest that somehow the United States is a violator of human rights, I frankly just don’t take them seriously.”