Let’s hear it for 3×4=11

Email Print
FacebookTwitterShare

Mac Slavo, a lousy rotten twelveist (see below) wrote this horrid contribution to LRC: http://www.lewrockwell.com/2013/08/mac-slavo/3-x-4-11/. In it he made fun of that nice young woman teacher who was defending 3×4=11. Well, I have this to say about that reprobate, Slavo:

Here’s my “reasoning” as to why 3×4=11:

The number twelve is more popular than the number 11. This is unfair. We have to give equal opportunity to the number 11; we have to have affirmative action for it. This number 11 has long been discriminated against compared to 12. Twelve is divisible by all sorts of other numbers: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 12. How many numbers is 11 divisible by? Just 1 and 11.  Twelve equals a dozen. Where is the equivalent for eleven? Nowhere, that’s where. Even the number 13 has an appellation: a baker’s dozen. Eleven, as usual, is left out in the cold. The poverty and unemployment rate for 11 is much higher than that for 12. Too many 11s are in jail. A disproportionate number (so to speak) of them.

This is an injustice that cries out to the heavens for redress. We have to close this unwarranted “gap” between 11 and 12. How best to do this? I’m not sure. But one way is to demand that 3×4=11! All those who oppose this modest proposal are lousy rotten twelveists. The number 11 is downtrodden by white males, mainly. 3×4=12 is just a white male hetero plot. We must overthrow this imperialism!

Mac, it’s people like you, you pig, who are the enemy of liberal progressives. No, wait, I take that back. That would be an insult to pigs. Who cares about bridges and planes; about physics and engineering. Only white male heteros. Not I, not I. My only interest is in human (well, number) rights.

It is at this point the Lew usually insists that I say this is all a joke; that I don’t mean any of this. But, this time, I refuse. I meant every word (well, number) mentioned above. Long live the number 11. Down with number 12 (if we subtract 7 from 12, we’ll get 11).

1:58 pm on August 21, 2013
  • LRC Blog

  • LRC Podcasts