Last of the Captions

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Here’s our final batch of conjectures as to what two of Our ugliest and evilest Rulers were muttering when AP snapped their photo.

Mark P reinforces the general consensus that Leviathan’s lackeys are as kinky as they are corrupt: he hears Jean-Luc saying, “I know we agreed you could play Nurse Chapel but … ummmm … please don’t wear the short skirt. OK?” Do us all a favor and listen to him, Di.

Nick Badalamenti fears Jean-Luc has suffered a fate similar to Gollum’s, given the corruption of DC’s sewer, so he endows him with the same diction: “We swears to serve the Master of the Precious. We will swear on — on the Precious!”

Jacob Lynn brought fruitcake – one of my favorites! – into this sordid exchange: “Oh, yes, Dianne, Cosmo says that fruitcake makes an excellent Christmas gift.” Listen up, folks, it’s the only time you’ll ever hear me say this: I agree with Cosmo and Jean-Luc, God help me.

Several of you supplied such realistic monologues I wonder if you did in fact eavesdrop on these clowns. Robert Emory imputes this to Jean-Luc: “Hey! Di! I’m ready for my appearance before congress! Check this out… ‘Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…'”

Rod Peet, Jr, gives us another likely option: “Senator, when you vote on that NSA oversight bill, remember that dossier we have on you.”

Then there’s Alan Esworthy with, “”Senator, there’s nothing you can tell me that I don’t already know.”

I’m not sure whether Kent Berry hears the diabolical duo addressing us or prattling to each other; it works either way: “Look into the eyes of the dragon and despair!”

Ditto for Gil Nogalski: “Rest assured, madam, our great purge will continue on schedule.”

Bill Martin imagines Jean-Luc’s announcing, “No, ma’am, we haven’t been able to locate Dorothy or your sister’s ruby slippers.  Perhaps we should consider using the flying monkeys for some recon work.”

David Maharaj knows the way to Your Intrepid Reporter’s heart. “Jean-Luc to FrankenStein: ‘My laptop is missing. Do you work part-time at the TSA’?”

My thanks to all for a few days of fun at Our Rulers’ expense – small vengeance for the lush lives they lead at ours.

7:44 pm on October 1, 2013