Back in September I blogged on the subject of how Nazi York City cigar stores that have smoking areas for their customers can no longer serve coffee to them. (You can read that post here.)

Today I stopped by a cigar store that I used to frequent from 2001 to 2004 before I gave up smoking. Since I recently started smoking an occasional cigar now and then, I wanted to drop by to smoke there and catch up on old times. Having also been an occasional pipe smoker—and this particular cigar store being one that sells its own different house blends of pipe tobacco—I was curious to see if they still made their “Wild Cherry” blend. I didn’t see it. I asked the salesman if they no longer produced it. They still produced it—and it was there.

So why didn’t I see it? Are you sitting down? Are you biting on a bullet? Get ready for why I didn’t see it. Here it comes…

I didn’t see the “Wild Cherry” pipe tobacco because in Nazi York City, the Food Nazis have outlawed the naming of flavored tobaccos with the names of food. THEY OUTLAWED THE NAMING OF FLAVORED TOBACCOS WITH THE NAMES OF FOOD!!!!!

The “Wild Cherry” pipe tobacco is now called “Jubilee.” (I’m presuming it’s a play on “Cherries Jubilee.”)

Save that bullet you’re biting on. It’s looking like it’s going to come in pretty handy pretty soon—and I don’t mean for biting on either.