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Journalists’ grooming, scent marking, defecating habits, mating and parasitic behaviors are consistent with the behavior of other savage beasts of prey. Although long reputed to be cowardly scavengers, journalists, especially from the DC Beltway, kill as much as 95% of the men and women of character, honor and integrity in their baseless attacks. Journalists are primarily nocturnal animals, but may venture from their lairs in the early morning hours. With the exception of the highly social network TV anchor, journalists are generally not gregarious, though they may live in packs and congregate at kills of their victims.

Wait a minute! Did you say Journalists? I thought you said Hyenas. Never mind.

7:32 pm on December 23, 2011