“Introduction to Homeland Stupidity, 101: Identifying Terrorists”

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One of the myriad ways in which the TSA wastes the $8-plus billion it steals from taxpayers each year is by enrolling its thugs in “college-level program[s] that [focus] on Homeland Security strategies to counter terrorism.” Yes, it boggles my mind, too. Imagine the courses: “Advanced Groping,” “Laptops: Too Dangerous For Passengers to Retain, So Take Work Home With You” and “The Cupcake as WMD.” Hard to believe grown adults waste their time and our wealth on such nonsense.

At any rate, your money pays to indoctrinate the uneducable at diploma-mills nationwide. Burbles one such moron, who’s “based at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport,” “We’re being taught how terrorists are adapting and getting more sneaky.” Yeah, now they’re eating their cupcakes before they arrive at the airport rather than “voluntarily surrendering” them to the gluttonous thieves at the checkpoint.

A classmate of Mr. Moron prattles that “the program has made her more ‘focused on the mission’” – a horrific thought: does she strip-search all women of a certain age now, not just those in wheelchairs? – and smugly adds, “Terrorism unfortunately is very real … You can’t let your guard down because there are people around the world who really hate Americans.”

Bingo. Thank God they’re easy to identify: they’re all in office or wearing blue gloves.

5:11 am on February 17, 2013