If You Really, Really Hate Your Grandparents

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The War State Journal, ever the reliable shill for fascism and the police-state, burbles that “If you plan to travel by air with an older adult who might have health problems, you should know about a help line the federal Transportation Security Administration launched recently. [It’s c]alled TSA Cares … Those with disabilities and medical conditions who call about 72 hours ahead of a flight may be able to arrange for assistance from a TSA customer-service manager when going through security.”

Yeah, take a moment and recover from seeing “TSA” and “customer-service” in the same article, let alone the same sentence. Then try to imagine the “assistance” gate-rapists might offer their victims. When Granny rolls through the airport’s doors in her wheelchair, do they strip her of her trousers and underwear so she doesn’t have to stand and do it herself? Do they waylay Grandpa when he joins the checkpoint’s interminable line and break his insulin pump or urostomy bag so their collaborators at the porno-scanner only have to grope him?

As for LaWanda’s beside manner… “Move it, lady, I ain’t got all day, there’s chicks ain’t one step from dyin’ waitin’ for me to feel ‘em up and steal their iPads, heh heh.”

8:29 am on July 16, 2012