I Try To Take Mike Rogers Seriously, But You Know, It’s Tough

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“The truth is this is a very dangerous world,” whined Representative Mike “The Moron” Rogers, one of the chief reasons that it is. He’s chairman of the House Transportation Security Subcommittee, no doubt because he knows nothing about either transportation or security. (Here’s his bio: You tell me, has the man any experience whatsoever in fields other than the law and lording it over his betters, a.k.a., politics?) He continued, “TSA not surviving isn’t an option.” And so he advocates “privatizing” the TSA. He’s using “privatize” in its fascist sense there: He means that the agency will maintain its stranglehold on aviation’s security while compelling airports to hire deviants from a “private” company to grope passengers according to the TSA’s dictates.

Yo, Moron: That dangerous world is precisely why the TSA should die. Its thugs dramatically increase those perils, whether by traumatizing us, irradiating us, stealing from us, bruising us during gate-rapes, damaging sensitive gauges on aircraft, forcing us to walk shoeless on filthy, germ-laden floors, or killing us.

An unprecedented phenomenon lurks in this puff piece on Rogers: John “The Pervert” Pistole, head cheese at the TSA, actually tells the truth! He doesn’t take kindly to The Moron’s threats to “privatize” his fiefdom; perhaps that accounts for his uncharacteristic honesty: “Whether every airport is privatized or TSA provides the security, the taxpayer is still paying.” Yep, and for his own sexual assault, too.

If The Pervert understands this, why doesn’t The Moron? OK, OK, the question answers itself. But why don’t the passengers who echo Moron’s call for “privatization” figure out what Perv so readily grasps?

8:37 am on September 28, 2012
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