Nebraskans are being informed that some of their brave sons are heading off to Afghanistan to fight AlQaeda help Afghan government officials and farmers improve that country’s agriculture. These troops are part of the Nebraska Army National Guard’s Afghan Agribusiness Development Team (I’m not making this up)! In the name of “national defense,” the Afghans will doubtless be militarily “urged” to purchase farming supplies and resources — with U.S. taxpayer-supplied dollars — from major corporate agribusinesses. I can only imagine the day these Army agriculturalists return home to a parade down the main street of their towns, with the Grand Marshal riding on a John Deere tractor, and the mayor atop an International Harvester corn-picker! And will the troops be sporting their hard-won medals: the “Archer Daniels Midland Distinguished Service Cross,” the “Cargill Good Conduct Medal,” or the “Monsanto Medal of Honor”? For those suffering “battlefield wounds” (e.g., a cut while replacing a tractor-tire) a special “Purple Thumb” medal might be awarded.
Who says we need an Osama bin Laden, when there are boll weevils and wheat-blight to fight in foreign lands?
