Hey, Maybe They Really ARE Slugs!

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Recent stories of assaults, groping, voyeurism, and criminal convictions affirm the popular impression that TSA agents really do come from the bottom of the barrel. Have you ever wondered why?

Well, back after 9-11, when the TSA was hiring, employers riding the bubble economy stoked by the Fed had  hired most available able-bodied workers already. One restaurateur from Atlanta told me back then that he’d “hire any warm body that could pass a drug test.” At the same time, military recruiters were committing suicide because they couldn’t meet their monthly quotas of inductees.

In fact, “about 75 percent of the country’s 17- to 24-year-olds are ineligible for military service, largely because they are poorly educated, overweight and have physical ailments that make them unfit for the armed forces,” not to mention “drug use, criminal records and mental problems,” a military group reports.

Of course, these are misfits whom few sane employers would hire, right?

Well, guess where they went. After all, putting on a TSA costume requires no competence at all.

So the next time you fly, imagine which of the above populations your personal groper comes from.

Oh, and rejoice, democracy lovers: those 75% might not have the capacity to be a private in the Army, but they can all vote.

2:28 pm on March 20, 2012