Hacking Through the Ole Gordian Knot

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“We’re trying to cut the Red Tape and help you!” politicians from Obummer to Sen. Upchuck Schumer (Demopublican, NY) claimed in the wake of Superstorm Sandy. These shameless hypocrites and creators of Red Tape are the first to blame it for exacerbating already bad situations — all so they can pose as heroes for promising to circumvent what they inflicted. Surprise, surprise: politicians never fulfill this vow either, like the myriad others they make.

Or should I say seldom fulfill it? Because Our Rulers are working overtime to roll back the Red Tape that constricts the statist sacrament of voting. Yes, if you are one of Sandy’s victims, Red Tape will keep you hungry and cold, as Donna Solli and Upchuck so memorably reminded us, but choosing new masters today will be a breeze. Andrew “I’m Redder than Red Tape” Cuomo, führer of New York State, “issued an executive order Monday allowing New York voters displaced by superstorm Sandy to cast affidavit ballots at polling sites outside their voting districts. … ‘We want everyone to vote, just because you’re displaced doesn’t mean you should be disenfranchised,” Cuomo said [oh, isn't he cute with his wordplay!] … Cuomo and New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg held discussions over the weekend with city election officials over the plans to handle tens of thousands of displaced people trying to vote Tuesday. On Saturday, similar concerns prompted New Jersey officials to allow voting by fax or email.”

Heck, the Red-Tape Wrestlers will even drive you to the polls. Our Rulers couldn’t get serfs to their jobs at all last week, and yesterday, they expected workers to stand in line for two hours just to get on a bus, never mind the actual commute. But suddenly, miraculously, these wunderkinds are “providing free [sic for 'paid for by others'] ‘voter shuttles’ … for people in the Rockaways, Staten Island, and Coney Island whose regular polling places were damaged in last week’s storm. The MTA says the shuttle buses will run every 15 to 20 minutes … in addition to regular bus service and carry voters to alternate voting sites.” The interminable delays that tormented those working for mere Mammon won’t bedevil worshippers setting about the Lord’s-sorry, the State’s business.

Meanwhile, Our megalomaniacal Rulers worry about how they will find housing for the “tens of thousands of people left homeless by the storm.” I guess these bozos have never heard of the market nor its ability to provide not only lumber, hammers, and nails but already built, snug, and even spacious homes. And far be it from any villein to find new digs himself! “FEMA said it has already dispensed close to $200 million in emergency housing assistance and has put 34,000 people in New York and New Jersey up in hotels and motels. But local, state and federal officials have yet to lay out a specific, comprehensive plan for finding them long-term places to live. And given the scarcity and high cost of housing there and the lack of open space, it could prove a monumental undertaking.” Why is housing scarce in a market with perpetually high demand for it? You guessed it: Red Tape — and absolutely none of New York City’s or State’s tyrants have mentioned freeing landlords and builders from its sticky coils.

9:56 am on November 6, 2012
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