If you haven’t heard by now, actor Fred Willard was arrested for allegedly “pleasuring” himself in a porno theater. (I guess Fred doesn’t have Internet access.) I’m not sure what his crime was—because Fred was on PRIVATE property. The owner of the porno theater (i.e., PRIVATE property) didn’t call the police to complain that Fred was violating the owner’s PRIVATE property rights.

Unless the owner of the porno theater felt that his property rights were aggressed against by Fred Willard, Fred did not commit a crime—and this is regardless of whether or not other patrons of the theater were offended by Fred’s alleged actions.