Fake Security Hyperventilates Over Fake Weapons

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Those courageous kooks at the TSA are now protecting American aviation from expectant mothers whose “style” runs to “camouflage” and whose purses therefore bear designs of “old western gun[s]” on them.

Vanessa Gibbs, 17, has flown with her purse and without problems before, but as she was trying to return home from Norfolk, VA, to Jacksonville, FL, the TSA’s valiant crew realized the dangers of her “replica.”

The victim reports that the TSA’s thugette “was like, ‘This is a federal offense because it’s in the shape of a gun’… I’m like, ‘But it’s a design on a purse. How is it a federal offense?'” You’re not the only one wondering, Ms. Gibbs. Never underestimate the utter lunacy of morons with gimcrack badges and wands.

I love this next line: “After agents figured out the gun was a fake, Gibbs said, TSA told her to check the bag or turn it over.” Just how long do idiots require for such “figuring”? Long enough that she missed her flight, so Southwest Airlines put her on another plane, this one to Orlando, “worrying her mother, who was already waiting for her to arrive at JIA. ‘Oh, it’s terrifying. I was so upset,’ said Tami Gibbs, the teen’s mom. ‘I was on the phone all the way to Orlando trying to figure out what was going on with her. It was terrifying. I don’t ever want to go through it again.’”

By the way, London’s Daily Mail reprinted this ludicrous story, so we are yet again an international laughingstock. Thank you, TSA!

9:23 am on December 2, 2011