Thanks to Wally Conger for bringing to our attention this great exchange between pulp fiction hero Doc Savage and his arch-nemesis John Sunlight. Judging by this dialog, Sunlight would feel right at home among both the left and right wings of the war party, while Doc Savage would be in the corner of the radical candidate:

“…we have the same aims in life, you and I,” John Sunlight said.

Doc Savage looked incredulous.

“The same aims, you and I!” John Sunlight repeated. “You strive to right wrongs. And I — I am trying to right the greatest wrong of all.”

John Sunlight paused for emphasis.

“The wrong I am going to right,” he said impressively, “is the fact that mankind lives under different flags and speaks different languages.”

His voice became louder, acquired a kind of burning fervor. There was fanaticism in the voice.

“I am going to conquer the world,” John Sunlight said.

He threw up his jaw.

“Then I shall disarm all of mankind,” he announced. “I shall take every rifle, revolver, cannon and machine gun, and I shall make it a death penalty to own a firearm. Mankind has advanced far enough that it does not need firearms.”

John Sunlight lifted both arms dramatically.

“Next, I shall make every person in the world learn to speak English,” he shouted. “English shall become the common language of all mankind.”

He shook his fists.

“I shall wipe out every state and national boundary. I shall make all mankind of one nation, one language, and without arms.”

He paused, lowered his arms and smiled.

“There will be no more wars,” he said, “because there will be nothing left to cause wars.” …

“A dream,” Doc Savage said suddenly, “that many men have had.”

“Eh?” John Sunlight scowled.

“It will not work.”

John Sunlight drew himself erect. “You are mistaken. With these weapons which I took from your Fortress of Solitude, I can conquer, beyond a doubt. With your help, I cannot fail. You will help me. …”

Doc Savage shook his head slowly.

“Your plan,” he said, “is unworkable. Millions would die, and violence is not the way to accomplish anything lasting. Look, for example, at the World War. Did it settle anything? No. The nations fought until they were exhausted, then were quiet only while they rested. Now they are getting their strength back — and the same hatreds.”

“You won’t help the world?”

“Only as much as it can be aided by eliminating John Sunlight,” Doc Savage said grimly.

7:34 pm on March 26, 2007