Democrats Poised To Retake Congress, Fix Everything

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From the Onion Radio News (subscribe (RSS)):

Democratic leaders say that as soon as they regain control of the US Congress the sun will shine again, soft, soothing rains will fall upon our crops and flowers will bloom year round. Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid: “All Americans will be greeted each morning by the most beautiful rainbow they’ve ever seen.” Reid says while taxes may increase slightly after the election, the effect will be mitigated by the gold coins and naked ladies that will begin drifting down from the sky above.

9:54 am on October 24, 2006