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A Pom*, fresh off the plane at Sydney airport, is trying to negotiate Australian customs. Finally, when it’s his turn to get his passport stamped, the customs officer starts rattling off the usual questions:
C.O. – How long do you intend to stay?
POM – One week.
C.O. – What is the nature of this trip?
POM – Business.
C.O. – Do you have any past criminal convictions?
POM – I didn’t think we still needed them to come to this country!

* disparaging Aussie slang for British person

4:12 pm on May 23, 2013