Coming to Skies Above You Soon!

As a kid in Southern California in the early 1980s, I remember times when a helicopter — probably with the San Bernardino County sheriff, though I have no idea whose it was — would prowl the nighttime skies, shining a spotlight into backyards looking for who-knows-what. If asked, I suppose law enforcement would have responded with “keeping people safe.” From what, I don’t know.

So, it only makes sense that drones will patrol the skies above American cities. This story only deals with the U.S.-Mexico border, but why stop there? I can imagine how useful it would be to assign a Predator to cruise the air above I-10 through, say, Ontario, noting the license plates of speeders. Or the southside of Chicago, on the lookout for gang bangers and other ne’er-do-wells?

And why stop with merely taking pictures and issuing citations? I can imagine all sorts of uses for Hellfire missiles in a law enforcement context. A quick end to car chases! Get the bad guys where they are holed up! Enforce drunk driving checkpoints! Protect the wonderful men and women in blue as they sacrifice their lives in service for our freedom and security!

Just don’t be ungrateful. Because they know where you live. And if precision weapons work in Gaza and Iraq, why not in Chicago or San Bernardino?

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11:55 am on January 5, 2010