China Kills ‘Dangerous Dissident’ in Peoria Parking Lot

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Two Wal-Mart greeters were injured.

Later word from Beijing revealed that the Politburo’s Legal Branch had approved the operation, which was two years in the planning.

Crowds cheered in Tiananmen Square, as Fox News rent-an-expert Wa Hu bragged, “There are a lot more on our list, and we know where they shop!”

UPDATE: After celebrating the successful kill, the Chinese Government demanded that Obama resign and “hand over power.” Secretary of State Hillary Clinton immediately groused, “After this big victory in catching their ‘dangerous dissident,’ the Chinese call on the president to leave power immediately? The Chinese don’t even respect those who cooperate with them,” she fumed.

Richer Perle was not available for comment.

10:43 am on October 1, 2011
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