Catastrophe!

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Prepare to flee for your life: somebody “[went] through Reno airport security without being screened.” Horrors! Will we survive? Or will planes fall from the sky while bombs murder millions?

Unlikely, the TSA assures us, because it had everything under control: “’The agent [sic for ‘Thief and Sexual Assailant’] never lost sight of the suspect'” — hmmm. Possibly a typo for “passenger”? — “‘and we continued to pursue the suspect with a variety of security footage,’ Reno Airport spokesman Brian Kulpin said.” He ludicrously added, “There are no injuries.” Whew! For a minute there, I feared broken legs and severed arms en masse.

But Brian wasn’t content to quit while he sounded like a mere idiot; he went for full moron: “We have no information right now as to why this individual did this.”

Yo, Bri? Call me fanciful, but I’d say the guy wanted to avoid gate-rape and irradiation.

 

8:26 am on January 25, 2013