Bush To Iraqi Militants: ‘Please Stop Bringing It On’

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Unfortunately, only in The Onion:
WASHINGTON, DC—In an internationally televised statement Monday, President Bush modified a July 2003 challenge to Iraqi militants attacking U.S. forces. “Terrorists, Saddam loyalists, and anti-American insurgents: Please stop bringing it on now,” Bush said at a Monday press conference. “Nine months and 500 U.S. casualties ago, I may have invited y’all to bring it on, but as of today, I formally rescind that statement. I would officially like for you to step back.” The president added that the “it” Iraqis should stop bringing includes gunfire, bombings, grenade attacks, and suicide missions of all types.

[Real satire makes you laugh and weep at the same time. Also see Sept. 11 Could Not Have Been Prevented Without Accruing A Lot Of Overtime by Condoleezza Rice.]

6:11 pm on April 28, 2004