Bringing Coals to Newcastle

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The Orlando Sentinel probably forks over megabucks in taxes every year, so you’d think its owners would resent the government’s wasting that money to paint a smiley-face on its atrocities. Yet the Sentinel has amplified those efforts with a puff piece on Orlando’s Thieves and Sexual Assailants – despite the fact that we and the newspaper pay for an entire office of spokesliars churning out propaganda as well as a “historian” (warning: extreme barf alert) at the TSA.

The article’s headline tells us all we need to know about the attitude at the TSA (and the Sentinel): “TSA chief: Fliers don’t understand what we’re doing.” Yeah, we’re all such morons that when a stranger gropes our crotch, we think, Hmmm, this assault is rather like Einstein’s Theory of Relativity – just too complex for a serf like me to figure out.

Ditto when we arrive at our destination and open our locked but nonetheless vandalized luggage, only to find our jewelry, cash and iPad missing. Gosh, the puzzled slave muses, something has happened here, but I am confused as to what. Good thing Our Rulers order me around and do all the cogitating for me!

So, fellow imbeciles, put on your thinking caps as we struggle to comprehend the Sentinel’s craven prose: “No one trying to catch a flight likes to take off shoes and belts, dump personal belongings into a bin and wait to be scanned by a high-tech machine or frisked by a stranger in a blue uniform. About 50,000 people submit to that routine at Orlando International Airport every day. Some of them — 384 to be exact — have complained in writing about how they were treated by the Transportation Security Administration officers who run the checkpoints.”

Now, I am a mere free-lance writer, not an exalted scribe at the TSA’s in-house PR firm or its out-house one at the Sentinel. But those sentences instantly reminded Your Humble Reporter of the Government Accountability Office’s lengthy (45 pages) screed against the TSA’s “complaint processes.” Which revealed that the agency discards, refuses to catalog or even count, and otherwise ignores the ample criticism it receives from passengers – after making it extremely difficult for them to register a complaint in the first place. Three hundred and eighty-four complaints, collected instead of thrown away over what length of time (alas, the Lofty Scribe does not say. No wonder we serfs wander around bewildered), are but a drop from the tip of the iceberg.

The story itself actually concerns “privatizing” the unconstitutional searches at the airport – a ploy TSA and such congresscriminals such as Rep[tilian] John Mica (R-Fl) frequently float to gull us fools: it leaves the TSA and all its barbarities intact while hiring “private” perverts from a “private” personnel firm to gate-rape us. (I’ve written about privatization’s scam many times. Suffice to say that something like 16 airports across the country are currently “privatized”: can you name them? Nope, neither can I. And that’s because they abuse passengers as horrifically as nationalized ones do since TSA still dictates the “procedures” “private” degenerates follow.)

Why did a story that could have simply said, “Orlando’s rulers may change the blue shirts of its gate-rapists to another, ‘private’ color, but unfortunately, you won’t notice any change” start off instead with a sob-story about the misunderstood TSA? Wait, don’t tell me: even a dumb serf can figure this one out.

9:15 am on July 2, 2013