Blumert For Governor

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“Run, Blumert.Run”, the adoring throngs repeat. They have been outside my home, cold and wet for the past 36 hours. The neighbors pass around plastic containers of steaming coffee . The masses ask for nothing, but for me to run.

I have been in my liabrary awaiting some sign. I have called upon friends and associates for their wisdom. Everytime I come close to taking the sensible course of turning them down, a voice within me pleads, “Your State needs you.”

After much agony, I have decided to forget personal comfort and make the run.
My qualifications are beyond question;

I speak English better than Arnold.
I’m more colorful then Gray (they called me “Deep Purple” Blumert in . college)
I’m taller than Gary.
Don’t write pornography like Larry
And, I change my underwear less often than Arianna changes her
positions.

I am accepting nominations for jobs in my administration.

If you are interested, send cash only with your application.

11:37 pm on August 7, 2003
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