Blumert For Governor

Email Print

“Run, Blumert.Run”, the adoring throngs repeat. They have been outside my home, cold and wet for the past 36 hours. The neighbors pass around plastic containers of steaming coffee . The masses ask for nothing, but for me to run.

I have been in my liabrary awaiting some sign. I have called upon friends and associates for their wisdom. Everytime I come close to taking the sensible course of turning them down, a voice within me pleads, “Your State needs you.”

After much agony, I have decided to forget personal comfort and make the run.
My qualifications are beyond question;

I speak English better than Arnold.
I’m more colorful then Gray (they called me “Deep Purple” Blumert in . college)
I’m taller than Gary.
Don’t write pornography like Larry
And, I change my underwear less often than Arianna changes her

I am accepting nominations for jobs in my administration.

If you are interested, send cash only with your application.

11:37 pm on August 7, 2003