I thought I was listening to Mad Magazine Radio yesterday when I heard about the National Bed Bug Summit. But the dial was on FOX radio, I am sure of it. Apparently, this summit came about because the Federal Bed Bug Working Group had failed to provide a solution to the problem. And then I heard Mayor Bloomberg call for a Bed Bug Czar. Keep in mind that Bloomberg already has a 10-person Bed Bug Advisory Board. The Bloomberg-Advisory Board plan for dealing with bed bugs will look like this:

…key elements of the plan include creating a bed bug task force headed by an entomologist, a public education push, a city-funded “Bed Bug Academy” for building & property managers, assigning bed bug cases higher priority in Housing Court, and giving stronger rights of access to bed bug-infested apartments. The battle plan will also establish a clear protocol for residents dealing with a bed bug problem, including a “triage” plan detailing what to do in the first 24 hours.

People are bored and disillusioned since the non-pandemic flu pandemic became a megaflop, so the bed bugs fill the necessary gap for people who need to fear something, anything …  that only the government can solve through the means of bureaucrat planning, Czars, advisory boards, public policy, and Three Stooges reruns.