Ashcroft’s Velvet Voice

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Norman, I unfortunately clicked on the link you provided of Ashcroft singing his song “Let the Eagle Soar.”

I have to say, this is one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard in my life. It’s not because the sight of Aschcroft makes me ill, or that I have anything against “patriotic” songs or the genre in which he chose to compose. It is simply a very bad song, and I think that perhaps they should allow an exemption to prohibitions against prior restraint when it comes to musical Attorneys General. Certainly, something in the Geneva Convention must prevent this kind of torture!

I’m very open to all kinds of music. My band plays all kinds, and my CD collection reflects my eclectic tastes. But unless he was going for some type of ironic nationalist dadaism, Aschroft’s singing simply defies the boundaries of acceptable music.

I would have told him, “Don’t quit your day job,” if it weren’t for all the harm his day job caused. Now that he has quit his day job, we can expect to see him on American Idol, saying, “To those who scare music-loving people with phantoms of lost melodies, my message is this, your tactics only aid terrorists and diminish our resolve.”

If Michael Moore included the entire clip in his movie, perhaps the swing voters would have seen what a severe threat to our senses this administration presents.

2:25 pm on November 11, 2004